A Reel of Film to the Light: Big Girls Don't Cry
by fourthage
Summary: It's time to go after Sasuke again, and Shikamaru must break the news to Ino and Sakura. Written for Remix 2010.


Notes: This was written for the 2010 remix challenge, and remixes hungrytiger's story by the same name. You can find it at the "An Archive Of Our Own" website.

* * *

He expected her to cry.

What Shikamaru got instead was the slight lift of her chin that dared him to think she wanted to. It was almost enough to make him reconsider the whole plan. How could he predict the actions of a years gone traitor if he couldn't even predict the reaction of his oldest friend? Or maybe it was just that his dad was right, and he still didn't understand women.

She'd cried when he failed the first time. Somewhere in the hours of waiting, Ino had joined him on the cold seat in the hallway outside the operating room. She just sat there, not touching him but still close enough that he could feel the heat of her body, until he managed a few bleak sentences. Uchiha was gone. Chouji might be dying. He'd stared at the floor beyond his linked fingers as he said it, so he never knew which part made her cry. But when he finally looked up, her nose was red and tears streaked her cheeks. He'd assumed it was for Uchiha.

She didn't cry now. Her voice was steady when she interrupted to ask questions, and other than that first lift of her chin, there was nothing to indicate this was anything more than another mission. It only cracked at the end, when she asked if he'd told Sakura yet. He hadn't.

That made her cry. Not the helpless tears he remembered, but tears all the same. And that broke his heart, even if he didn't know why. He made an abortive movement toward her, but she gave him a smile that was more than half grimace, and shooed him off.

Maybe she had been crying for Chouji.

He'd debated which of them to tell first. Ino would be hard because she was Ino, and he would hurt with her. Sakura would be hard because Uchiha was like that for her. Had been like that. Was. Still.

Shikamaru rubbed an irritated hand over his hair. She and Naruto both and hell, that was another conversation he was not looking forward to. At least _that_ he knew he understood. He wasn't sure there was any betrayal Chouji or Ino could commit that would make him stop trying to bring them back. He'd run himself ragged to get revenge for Asuma-sensei; how much more would he do for someone he had a chance to save?

A moot point. Uchiha was beyond redemption and it was time to try again.

He reached the tent where they'd taken the Godaime. He heard raised voices and sobs, sighed, and went in. Tsunade-sama looked, well, like she'd be dead if she was anyone other than the Godaime. Shizune was in the middle of a harsh conversation with an older man he only vaguely recognized. She glanced at Shikamaru as he came in, but otherwise ignored him. Sakura was the one sobbing. That latecomer, Sai-san, stood nearby with a look of polite interest on his face.

Shikamaru hesitated for a moment, not sure if he should let Sakura regain some of her composure, or let her cover her reaction with her grief over the Godaime. But time was short, so when she didn't react to his entry he gave a mental shrug and walked over.

He told her the same way he told Ino. He laid it out like a regular mission briefing, carefully not thinking about who the target was or the emotional ramifications of what he was saying. Get it out, then he'd deal with whatever came after. He still watched her face as he spoke, and whatever he thought her reaction would be, it wasn't what he got.

Sakura stopped crying. Her eyes, which had been more than a little distant, focused on him with a frightening intensity. Her face closed up, slowly, gently, but inexorably. And by the time he finished, she was looking at him like he was a stranger. He waited, but all she did was stare at him in a way that made his shadow twitch. He'd thought crying was the worse reaction he could get, but as the seconds ticked by he wished she'd do anything but look at him like that.

It was Sai-san, of all people, that called her out of it. He murmured her name and she blinked and turned her head to look at him. Shikamaru didn't know what passed between them, but it made Sakura flinch, and when she turned back her eyes were bright with tears again. He was ready for this, for her arguments for one last try bringing Uchiha back alive. He had the counterarguments marshaled like so many shoji pieces.

She begs him to let her be the one to tell Naruto instead.

And Shikamaru is thrown again and he shouldn't be, because what else should he expect? His mind goes back to that what if – what if it was Chouji he was ordered to kill? Would he want Ino to tell him, who understood exactly what it meant and lived the pain with him, or some other friend, who might think they understood but didn't, really? Naruto is a friend, but Sakura is his teammate. She has gone to bed with this grief every day for three years and woken up to it again every morning. And so has Naruto.

It makes the decision easy. Looking at Sakura, he knows this particular heartbreak is beyond him. An outsider had to break the news to her, but he could let an insider break it to Naruto. This responsibility, at least, he can give away with a easy heart. A small kindness for both him and Naruto, though he doubts Naruto will see it as such.

She takes Sai-san with her, and he orders her to take one more as she goes. Whatever she tells Naruto is out of his hands. Shikamaru has a plan and teammates to re-organize. And if somewhere inside he suspects the plan may be too late, that Naruto and Sakura might take this last duty into their hands before the others arrive, well. It's all the same in the end. One way or another, Uchiha Sasuke would soon be dead.


End file.
